For many years I was like this old barn, hidden behind lots of clutter. Many of the things that covered me needed to be pruned away in order to expose the new growth. One of the things that was hidden was the fact that I enjoy solitude. I enjoy being alone. For years as a mom I would feel so terribly guilty for wanting to leave the house just to hear my own thoughts. I felt as though I was abandoning my children instead of just giving them time to bond with their father while I went away to get refreshed. I simple paradigm shift helped to shed the guilt, but the shift didn't happen over night.
Now I understand that while there may be moms who never need to be away, I am not one of those moms. I'm just getting to the place where I can be okay with that part of me. I'm okay with being different from the other moms who only need an hour or two in the bathtub. Calgon does not take *me* away! I often need much more than a long bath before I can feel ready to rejoin my beloved children and husband. And that's okay!
Lesson: The unexamined life is not worth living. (Socrates)
4 comments:
I found your blog and I am loving your photos....
Thanks! I'm glad you stopped by to take a look.
I can sooo relate. I love my solitude so much that I stay up late just to be alone. The guilt of taking time for me can engulf me at times but I know, in the end, I am a better mother and wife for it.
It is always comforting (and necessary) for me to get AWAY! Other moms would say, "how can you go away to a hotel by yourself for 2-3days? don't u miss them?" I would honestly say (even today), NO! I love them but I rarely miss them when I leave. Isn't that horrible?
But then I have heard that boys are "especially" noisy. This came from a mother of 6 boys. I only have 4 (and 1 girl) but I can't hear myself think because they are ALL, always, out talking ea other! I HAFTA GIT AWAY!
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